Another year has begun…2018

pexels-photo-775779.jpegFebruary is almost upon us.  January will soon be in the past.  Did you set goals or New Year Resolutions?  And how are you doing?  Me…well, it started off with a basketful of good intentions… Some I’ve kept, some sporadic, some I’m working on…and others I’ve discarded as unimportant.  I’m ok with the Bible Reading and our 30-days of Prayer our church is participating in. ( FORWARD is this years 30-days of Prayer theme.) I’ve started the decluttering but haven’t got into the garage yet. That’ll come in the Spring.

2018 is a year of CHANGE.  Oh it’s just a gut feeling in more ways than I can explain, some I know for sure, others just a fleeting thought.  I am looking forward to one big change coming toward the middle to end of this year…more on that later as it looms closer and plans are being finalized.

God has given me peace about some of the upcoming changes.  I’m hopeful they are for the best for all involved.

Be anxious for nothing…God is in control.  He knows the deepest part of our heart.  Nothing can be hidden from him…our emotions, our hurts, our pain, our desires, our intentions and he knows if there’s something there that needs removing!  He gives us opportunity and plenty of warnings from his Word, whether spoken (preaching/teaching) or directly from his Word.  It’s up to choice if we heed the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Jeremiah 17:9-10   The heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked.  Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives.  I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. (NLT)

God Bless us all in 2018~





Life is a Vapor



It’s been almost 2-years since I’ve posted on this blog!

Life has taken me down a different road for about three years.  My Mother went to her heavenly home 3-years ago this coming July 1, 2017.  My Dad came to live with us and was not happy leaving Missouri, but he didn’t have a choice.  He could not take care of himself and his dementia was getting worse.  He was almost totally blind and couldn’t hear.  But his stubbornness came with him.  He was 24/7 care for us.  He did accept going to a PACE program for a few hours a day 3-4 days a week.  This gave Bud (my husband) some relief from caregiving.  He completely took over the physical care of my Dad without complaining. (I work M-F 8:45a – 5:00p to keep the home fires burning.)

 GOD has a way of working things out before you even anticipate them.

Bud retired from Erlanger Hospital in April of 2009 (not by choice, they had a big lay-off and since he was only there for 10-years and paid more for his experience, he was included in the lay-off).  While we struggled financially, little did we know that this would come as an advantage to us a few years later.  This made it possible for Bud to be here for my Dad.  Otherwise, he would have to go into a nursing home.  We did not want that and neither did he.

We had some rough times with his dementia but we survived them.   He had a heart attack that wasn’t diagnosed for several hours.  At first, everyone thought it was his gallbladder and were getting ready to schedule gallbladder surgery.  Then his labs came back!!  Heart Attack!  He stayed 4-days in the hospital and then was moved to Hospice care.  One of us was with him 24 hours a day.  He was never left alone. Everyone was so kind to us at both places.  I have no complaints.   Dad left this world  Sunday, February 5, 2017 1:15am.  He would have been 92 on the 25th of July this year.

It still seems unreal that both my parents are gone.  They were always there!  I still look in the rearview mirror expecting to see Dad’s face.   I still have their phone number on my phone.  It took me a long time before I didn’t think about calling my Mom.  I really didn’t have time to grieve my Mother’s death while taking care of Dad.  Now I grieve for both. Grief strikes at the strangest times.

I know this is a SEASON of Life, but one I don’t think we’re ever ready for.  When we’re young and raising our own children with our own commitments and responsibilities we don’t even let it enter our minds that LIFE is really just a vapor.


Missing them!

Just A Whisper…

Today was my 5th Cancer treatment.  While lying quietly in the dimly lit room I usually listen to soothing instrumentals from Eli & Kathy Hernandez, Nate Lawrence, David Nevue, or the inspirational singing of Bobbie Shoemake, Priscilla McGruder, Karen Harding…and others.  But today, I lay quietly waiting for the treatment to be over.   I have an hour or more with no interruptions!

And then it came…just a whisper.  Without any competition for my attention…I heard the whisper of His voice.  “Trust me…my will is in process.”  Assurance of his presence is always sweet and comforting.

As I lay there, a thought came to me just as quietly but urgently.  He assured me I had done nothing to my knowledge that promoted this cancer.  I had never done any of the main things that would cause this type of cancer.  I’ve never smoked, done drugs, dyed my hair, etc.   I do know that our food is not pure and the additives, chemicals, food coloring is in most of our food.  I do attempt to not eat processed food and eat WHOLE foods, organic if possible and finances allow.  I can eat less pure food and be content than stuffing myself with all the processed foods the Markets have to offer.

This is something we’ve probably heard taught often on our journey…but this is my version.

I was reminded of the pattern for physical and spiritual Growth. From our very birth we are cared for.  Our needs are met and we are loved.   We are bathed, fed, and rocked, hugged, sung to and loved.  As a parent myself, I remember the birth of each one of my sons as if it were yesterday 001.jpgand the love I felt for each one of them.  Each one developed their own personality, looks and temperament.  They are individuals with their own likes and dislikes, dreams and goals in life. I love them unconditionally, they are my sons.


At first we are completely taken care of.  We are fed milk, either formula or mother’s milk.  As soon as our stomach will tolerate it we are given cereal to help strengthen us.

I Peter 2:2 (AMP)

 Like newborn babies you should crave (thirst for, earnestly desire) the pure (unadulterated) spiritual milk, that by it you may be nurtured and grow unto [completed] salvation,…

Read the above verse in the KJV, ESV, and TLB)

Later we are spoon fed baby food that is easily digested.  Our food is prepared for us but eventually we want to feed ourselves.  So, we grab the spoon and at first we make messes and the food is all over us.  But with persistence and consistency we soon get the spoon to our mouth without losing too much on the way there. We progress from the bland pureed food to food with substance. Food to chew on with those new teeth.  And growth begins.

Hebrews 5:13 (AMP)

For everyone who continues to feed on milk is obviously inexperienced and unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in purpose, thought, and action), for he is a mere infant [not able to talk yet]!

We swiftly leave the infant and toddler stages behind.  Our curiosity of the world as seen through our eyes causes our environmental and intellectual development to rapidly begin.

As we GROW UP, we learn we have a choice of what we eat.  Our choice of food will determine our health, physically and spiritually.

I don’t know about you but occasionally I eat that Tootsie Roll or Snicker bar…and it’s not good for me.  I am supposed to be very careful of my sugar/carbohydrate intake.  Now a slip up once in a while probably won’t instantly be the death of  me…but long term it is devastating to my health.

We do that in our spiritual walk.   We slip up with our inconsistency of prayer, fasting, reading and hearing THE WORD preached and taught.  The consequences of our slip-up may not reflect immediately upon our spiritual health…but if continued will be devastating just as too many carbs does for me.

Hebrews 5:14 Amplified Bible (AMP)

14 But solid food is for full-grown men, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law.

When I’ve had too many sweets/carbs I become sluggish, no energy, brain doesn’t function at the level it should.  I become easily agitated, irritable, anger is just on the surface ready to blow and I’m just not myself.   I even get very tired and sleepy….slumber is a big part of the effect eating the wrong food has on me.  Has anyone else ever experienced this? Now be honest!

If we are not consistent with our prayer-life, Bible reading & studying, and hearing the Word taught, I believe we experience the above mentioned maladies.  We can become sluggish, lack of zeal, easily irritated over the silliest things, anger surfaces easily and then slumber sets in… our minds and hearts are not functioning to the capacity that God has given us.   Can we all say “Oh me”?   We are not perfect, but we are striving toward perfection of being Christ-Like! We are not alone on this journey.

When we withdraw from being fed The Word…we are depleting our body of the nourishment it needs to spiritually survive.  When we withdraw from our personal relationship with God we become a hindrance to the body.  We’re just not ourselves and we’re not open to the moving of God when we are in this particular mode.   We become critical and overlook our own attitude and faults and blame others or the circumstances surrounding us. We avoid the mirror of our soul.

Hebrews 6:1-3Amplified Bible (AMP)

6 Therefore let us go on and get past the elementary stage in the teachings and doctrine of Christ (the Messiah), advancing steadily toward the completeness and perfection that belong to spiritual maturity. Let us not again be laying the foundation of repentance and abandonment of dead works (dead formalism) and of the faith [by which you turned] to God ,With teachings about purifying, the laying on of hands, the resurrection from the dead, and eternal judgment and punishment. [These are all matters of which you should have been fully aware long, long ago. ]If indeed God permits, we will [now] proceed [to advanced teaching]. 

When our spirits are broken…our hearts contrite…our minds stayed on Him then God can use us…work through us, because we willing in spirit to do his bidding.  Our eyes see, our ears hear, our hearts are malleable, sensitive and filled with his Spirit.  We are useable for His Glory.

Psalm 51:17

My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

Perhaps, because of my age and the experiences of my life, these thoughts came to mind…but until the day of my “going home” I want to live for Him.  Birth is a wonderful beginning…but growing up is a process of willingness (the WANT TOO) and the process of time.  Maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age.

We never stop growing up in GOD!

Still growing up, still learning-


Blessings- Pam

Life Strikes Again…


That’s 2015 so far. Oh there have been moments, maybe a few hours, or even a day or two that were relatively stress-free, but then it starts all over again! I’ve read on other ministers/pastor’s wives blogs and sites and know that personally,  and my household are not the only ones going through this type of “attack”.

It’s not always our first inclination to “place it in God’s hands”. Worry -Todays Troubles & Peace

There are some of us who attempt to deal with a circumstance or situation first thinking we can handle it! God knowing all along that we will eventually come to him for guidance, but only after we’ve struggled with IT and come to the realization we can’t solve it our way! So, He patiently waits.

Then there are some things that occur and we realize from the beginning…we are not in control and cannot change or avoid the circumstance. We are not the Omnipotent One! We throw up our hands and submit…saying, “Here IT is God, it’s all yours.” Why do we do that? Because we’re made of flesh and blood…pure humanity in its rawest form. We do this over and over…

The only thing that saves us from complete self-destruction is being filled with His Spirit and knowing He is the comforter of our soul. We fall back on the one who loved us enough to give his life on the cross for us.

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm. (Psalm 37:8 NKJV)

Oh how true the above scripture is! Fretting causes great harm physically, mentally, and with our relationships. Even our spiritual relationship with God suffers because of worry and fretting.

Matthew 6:25-34 NKJV

[ Do Not Worry ] “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? …

You are my SAFE PLACEHow often have we read the above verses?  Many, many times, yet we still fret and worry.

I am trying…to remember this during my stressful moments.

EVEN if remnants of the yesterdays are still hovering like swirling black clouds getting ready to drop their cargo by the bucketful.  Each day is a NEW DAY,  a NEW Beginning,

The chorus we often sing :

I am Blessed, I am Blessed, every day that I live I am Blessed, when I wake up in the morning, when I lay my head to rest, I am Blessed, I am Blessed.

How true that chorus is…no matter what comes our way, what fiery darts are thrown, we have the shield of our salvation that protects us.

Our strength to face the unknown of each day comes from our personal relationship with our beloved, our comforter, our provider, our precious Saviour. The Unknowns will come, but I KNOW the ONE who KNOWS all and holds my future in His hands.

His Name is Jesus,

 Pam  (Heartwhispers)


A blur…that’s what 2014 was.  It passed so swiftly and now I reflect on the occurrences that have now become part of my life’s history! 

IMG_0563The main one being the loss of my Mother on July 1, 2014.  She almost made it to her 89th birthday, DSCN5753July 24th.  She and Dad would have been married 65 years on August 2nd.  She tried so hard and became so exhausted, she still wanted to go home.  She was so  tired of the hospital stays and the rehabilitation at the nursing home.  She did manage to be home for about 4-days, but from April to July she was was either in the hospital or in rehab with the exception of the few days mentioned.  She wanted to live, but she wasn’t afraid to die.  Mom knew where she was going if she died and was not afraid.  It was not her earthly home but to her heavenly home that God chose to take her.   I spent ten days with her in April and I’m so thankful and blessed to have shared that time with her.  It was very difficult for me not to have her with me so I could care for her on a daily basis.  I miss her every day.  It has been eight months since she soared to her heavenly home.

Relatives from California, Oklahoma  and Texas that I hadn’t seen in many, many years were at her Memorial Service and our family came from Tennessee, Wisconsin and Illinois.   It was wonderful to visit with family and reminisce.  Mom would have loved seeing everyone together having a good time.  She loved and enjoyed her family.  This is a photo of our family the Childers, Dad Wilson, and the Nunleys.

Moms funeral- family photo 7-2014

My Dad came to live with us, hesitantly!  And he is still missing Missouri.  He’s 89 years old and doesn’t Mom and Dad Wilson - Joplin, MO -2realize that he cannot live by himself as he is almost totally blind and deaf.  He is rapidly losing his memory and is repeating the same stories every evening.  Names of people and places where he has lived are forgotten.   But he can ambulate well and dress himself.  He still loves his coffee and sweets!  Every other day or so he is moving back to Missouri or California…I’m not sure how he plans to get there or how he plans to take care of himself?  We take each day as it comes with much Prayer! Pray for contentment and acceptance.  I know he misses Mom very much.

Mine and Bud’s routines have drastically changed .  We’ve adapted and some things have been for the better.  We read the Bible aloud for an hour most every evening because Dad can’t see to read and he enjoys hearing God’s Word.  I enjoy it too.   I missed my early morning quiet time, but from April 2014 until now, that daily routine was set aside to maybe once a week.   I have purposed in 2015 to begin again.   It makes such a difference in my day if I spend time in reading and prayer before the busyness of the day starts.   I really missed those early mornings in His presence.  My heart has longed for His whisperings and my desire has grown strong within me.  I cannot survive without our time together!

My life will never be the same.  Losing a parent is difficult and makes one look at their own life from a totally different perspective.  Life is not the same as it once was.  I can’t call Mom up and talk to her…her phone number is still in my phone.  I don’t have any desire to erase it…it’s as if she’s still here if I leave it there.  Emotionally,  I’ve not had time to grieve for her with Dad here,  my time has been taken up caring for him.   I do find myself waking up in the middle of the night with the tears flowing, or at work thinking of her and not believing she’s really gone.  I’ve even listened to her voice mail until it disappeared off my phone.  I just needed to hear her voice once more..

I would not wish her to come back… She’s no longer weak or in pain,  but strong and rejoicing…a better place.  But I miss her.

I have thoughts and goals for 2015.  I’ve been challenged to accomplish several things this year, physically and spiritually.  I will endeavor to write those in other blog posts at another time.

One is past and another year begins…  

Pam (Heartwhispers)


Just a Dream…or?

I was awakened during the early morning hours by a dream…ever been there?  It wasn’t  a nightmare.  I didn’t wake up afraid but the dream was as vivid as if I were still dreaming.  Lying there I began to roll the footage through my mind again.  I won’t go into all the detail of the dream, but it reminded me of a dream I had several years ago.

Tclip_image002[4]he dream I had about 6-7 years ago was of my husband and I during one of our walks around Harrison Bay and as the day moved toward dusk, I began to see serpents along the trail…some would strike out and almost reach us, some would slither across the path in front and behind us, but never touching us.  At the time of my dream I wasn’t under any great pressures of life that I was aware of.  But our Awesome, Holy, and never failing God was warning me of a “strike” of satan in the future.  The old serpent struck, and attempted to strike out at my husband’s ministry.  Unsuccessfully, but hurting babes in the Lord who didn’t understand why someone would do that.  God prevailed!

Early this morning I had a similar dream, while not as dramatic as there was only ONE poisonous serpent involved.  I woke up realizing that the serpent was coiled and not in a striking position, but ready!  In my dream, I gently removed myself from the strike zone.  Another warning LORD?  I believe so!

1 Peter 5:8 reminds us:    Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

Observing through many years of walking in the truth…I have seen the LORD begin to move and then the old serpent sticks his ugly head with beady eyes into the mix.  It doesn’t take much for him to strike…an unkind word, a mistaken interpretation of words or actions, offenses though small build into bitterness…the old serpent knows how to do it!  When people began to seek a closer walk with God and desire to be revived, refreshed and have kindled the fire…the old serpent can’t resist…he slithers in and around…seeking the weakest and attempting to devour and destroy.  A pastor soon sees who has and is maturing and growing.

We must be very careful with our words, conversation and actions.  This is a testing time.

Ecclesiastes 10:11 tells us:  Surely the serpent will bite without enchantment; and a babbler is no better.

Psalm 140:3  tells us:  They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent; adders’ poison is under their lips. Selah.

We must, I must be very careful to intercede prayerfully and not be a hindrance to His Will keeping the desire for More of HIM and less of me!  Time is brief…our lifespan is God-given!  We don’t know the hour or the day our journey in this world will end.  I certainly don’t want to be a stumbling block or have strayed from the path called straight.

My HOPE for the future is to be with my Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ.  He is the one I want to please and that He will “know” who I am and say “well done, thou good and faithful servant”.

His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.   (Matthew 25:21)

~ Prayerfully submitted,



Where’s Your Harp?

Something that was said during the Sunday night message reminded me I had written about Harps on the Willow tree… so I’ve reposted it.

Whispers from a Tennessee Heart

Where’s Your Harp?


“On the willow trees in the midst of [Babylon] we hung our harps.” Psalm 137:2 

This phrase caught my attention last night during Bible Study and I quickly jotted brief notes to come back to later.“We hung our harps on the willow tree.” Psalm 137 was written in remembrance of when the Israelites were in Babylonian captivity. This chapter looks back on the bitterness of the captivity. They were in a foreign country under duress, not because they chose to be there. We can surmise that whenever they had free time, maybe on their Sabbath that they gathered by the rivers of Babylon to pray and sing to their God. While doing this memories would come back and the tears would flow. They still remembered ZION. To them Zion was the spiritual center of the whole earth. Looking into the rivers of

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Springtime Muse…

Woke up early this morning with GrandBear (babysitting grandsons dog) needing to go out!  What a beautiful day the LORD has blessed us with.  Shut off the A/C and opened the windows letting the breeze flow through the house!  Days like this REFRESH my inner being!  Gave me energy to DO things I’ve put off!

Went outside before breakfast and planted flowers.  Still lots of clean up to do.  We have so many trees which DSCN5855makes  it very difficult to keep up with all the fallen leaves.

My wild roses are blooming but my rhododendron hasn’t bloomed at all yet.  DSCN5856

We probably should have bought property out and not in a subdivision because we like things sort of natural and not perfect.  But our neighborhood is a combination of both…perfect planning, perfect lawns, and then there’s the rest of us who are probably the “thorn in the flesh” to the Perfects.  I love both… I’m just in awe when Nature speaks and shows me what it can do with very little help from me.  However, I am a little intimidated by our backyard this year.  The groundcover has taken over early this year and I do not like it this close to the house.  I can’t see what critters are in there!  We’ve let the backyard take control!  

Because of all our trees we have a prolific population of birds…we are constantly serenaded with beautiful, peaceful music intermingled with the occasional barking dog!   It soothes the soul…if you stop long enough to listen!  I haven’t heard the owls in quite awhile.  I hope they’ve not moved on to a  new address.


My Mother’s Day flower basket from my hubby.  It is beautiful and constantly blooming.  I love looking out the door and seeing it swaying in the breeze. 

The metal planter below belonged to my Mother-in-law.  Even though it’s starting to rust out I cannot get rid of it.  I guess I’m too sentimental about some things.  She loved her flowers and spring was a time of planning, planting and searching for the best bargains.DSCN5850



This is the other Mother’s Day Basket the children from First UPC Dayton, TN gave me.  Isn’t it  beautiful?  When I walk out the front door it’s right there for me to behold!  Smile   P1010011

My one rose that blooms faithfully every year by the mailbox.



Mr. Frog hasn’t returned this year.  He was hibernating and Bud thinks he scared him moving some things around late winter/early fall.  Anyway, he may have moved on too.





Well enough of the Spring Musings… I need to get to work on another project!


Sun PamCoffee cup





December 24 & 25, 2013

I have been lax or lazy is probably the more appropriate word in posting to my blog.  I have many excuses so I won’t even begin to offer any.  

Merry Christmas to all our family and friends.

Yesterday the 24th was our 46th Wedding Anniversary.  It’s unbelievable how quickly time goes by.  It seems like yesterday and also like forever!  This is what HE looked like when I first met HIM:

Bud 1967


 This was after he trimmed his hair and beard. 

This is what I looked like then:Pam 15









Then our engagement:Bud,Pam 1967

Then our wedding(he cleaned up nicely):Wedding Pix 1967

After a few years, we looked like this:



         Then we began to GROW:2-RendLake Family Reunion 2011 007

We became Grandparents and Great grandparents.  The above photo is our grandkids minus our Ella who was in the oven at that time.

And here she is:Ella 8-2013




We are blessed beyond measure!

                                  (I have Thanksgiving to blog yet, backwards, I know!)





This was our Anniversary-Christmas Eve dinner at home, Cornish game hens, yams, green bean casserole, dressing and fresh cranberry relish with Hawaiian Sweet Rolls (all GOOD CARBS) : 



Summer Slips Away

Today is September 2, 2013.  Where did Summer hide itself?  It seemed we were just beginning and now it’s unofficially over!WGP-misty forest road 2007

Yes, it’s still HOT and HUMID!  But there’s just something in the air…you sense it when you walk out the door, especially in the early morning hours.  We anticipate with some apprehension and excitement the coming CHANGE!! and we all start wondering what will follow the glorious Autumn.  Change is always a little unnerving. 

School has already been in session for a couple of weeks, but because it was still August it was Summertime!  This year has been the wettest Summer that I can remember for Eastern Tennessee, so that would be the last nineteen years for me. 

Our backyard down the hill is a jungle, and I’m not kidding.  I wouldn’t walk through it for a million dollars…well…maybe, but I’d have spray myself with every repellant available, pack a pistol, machete, and anything else required to fight off what is creeping around in there.

I eagerly await the early weeks of autumn…one of my favorite times of the year.  Maybe that’s why I like all the fall colors, and tend to gravitate toward earth tones.  Not a fan of Winter, but I do enjoy the occasional snow storm.  Note, I said snow not ice.  While living in Maryland it took me 5 hours to get 15 minutes from home.  What a shock to come out of the grocery store in Ellicott City to a sheet of ice.  People were slipping, sliding, and falling down.  Cars were sliding all over the roads and into ditches and each other.  It was a big mess.  Two minutes from home with a upward curving exit ramp looming before me that no other car had managed to navigate, I pulled my car well off the road and tramped through a field to get to my house with my sons each carrying a bag of groceries.  We went back the next day and retrieved our undamaged car. There was a pile of cars that hadn’t made it.   I do not want a repeat of that story…it can stay just that, a story.

However, I am ready for walking around H’ Bay and enjoying the crisp humidity free air.  I’m anticipating the coming days when I can open the windows and not run the air conditioner.  

I always become nostalgic around a change of season.  I suppose it’s because past memories flood my mind of when all the boys were at home and what each seasonal change meant to our family.  Labor Day was the last camping trip before school started…the last hurrah of the Summer…the last week of freedom.

Seasonal change is always a sobering Isa 46.4 Even in your old agereminder to me of how swiftly each season of life comes and goes.  I find myself checking to see which season I’m in, leaving, or entering soon.  I want to be prepared for each season that I enter, similar to our preparations for the earthly seasonal changes.  We know they’re coming and we know approximately when they come and we try to prepare accordingly.


My prayer today: 

Lord prepare me for each storm, monsoon, and season that comes my way.  Don’t let me forget that you are the MASTER CREATOR of all and my Hope is in you and you alone.   In Jesus Name.